Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
