my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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