i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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