dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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