Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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