i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
