I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize