no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
