would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
