he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am naked and annoyed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
