yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize