How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
