No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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