I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize