so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
