Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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