I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
