i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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