yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
