yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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