Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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