Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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