i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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