So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
