you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize