Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
