Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
