Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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