I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
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Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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