Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
