I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
