We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
should my penis look like a turkey
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
