Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
