Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
zippers are such a cool invention
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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