i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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