its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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