I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
