Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
