Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
