1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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