The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
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If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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