Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
