that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
