it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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