Its about making memories worth repressing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
