i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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