You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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