she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
