Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
