last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
