I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
