Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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