dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize