If i come over, it means nothing
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize