i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I faked an abortion last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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