It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
