road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
