If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
