genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
